Phil
and Wendy
The
walls of Phil and Wendy Allen's apartment bear testament to an active
life, bowling trophies hang next to pictures of nieces and nephews,
Star Trek memorabilia shares space with wedding photos, and between
it all are interspersed plaques of appreciation for Phil's outstanding
contributions to community living.
"It's
really important to me, while I'm on this earth, to help as many people
as I can," Phil says with a smile. Working with the United Way, doing
public speaking, starting a self-advocacy radio show, and giving years
of service to the BC Association for Community Living and the Burnaby
Association for the Mentally Handicapped are just some of the ways
in which Phil has helped change the face of Vancouver.
The
move to replace institutions with community living was a provincial
initiative that Phil supported wholeheartedly. "I was in an institution
for ten years," he explains. Born in Saskatchewan in 1927, Phil was
institutionalized at the age of 17 when he went to Children's Aid
for help with employment training. "That's just what they did in those
days," he says.
"The
institution was a very bad place. I saw things in there that you couldn't
believe. Staff didn't care about the people at all. People died in
there and nobody knew about it. It was just like being in jail." Phil
was 27 when he left. "One day I just decided, I'm gone." He hitched
his way out to Vancouver, and has been here ever since.
He
met Wendy at a party and, as Wendy tells it, "We just hit it off right
away." They celebrate their 18th wedding anniversary this year. "Age
doesn't matter at all," Wendy says, laughing about the way people
sometimes mistake Phil for her father. "What matters is that you love
one another." Do they ever fight? "It's more like we disagree sometimes,"
Wendy says. Phil nods and adds, "The best advice I can give anyone,
any married couple, is don't be mad. Just sit down calmly and talk
about it.
"
Phil's calm approach has helped him deal with the discrimination he's
encountered. "I've been so used to people doing this to me," he says,
"I just ignore it, you have to." Over the years, Phil has watched
attitudes change, but employment opportunities remain an area of concern.
"The public is more accepting to people with handicaps now than they
were years ago when I came out here, but things still need a lot more
change," he says. "People should realize that we're here, and we're
here to stay, and they've got to get used to it. We should be happy
and enjoy our lives just like everyone else."
When
Phil looks back over his 75 years, and then thinks about his hopes
for the future, he says, "What I'd like to see is for people to get
along with the handicapped and not treat them like we're not here.
That's one of them, one of my dreams."
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